What are you most afraid of?
I was lecturing on the topic of availability heuristic to my class a few weeks ago. The
availability heuristic is a sort of shortcut our brains take, where if we hear about something often, we believe it is common. So, we hear about murder and violence on the news (because “if it bleeds, it reads”) and we start to believe that these things are more common than they are. This holds true, even if the evidence is fiction rather than news. I told my class, this is also why we fear sharks more than texting while driving, even though one of these things is far more dangerous (hint: texting).
As I talked about the irrationality of fearing sharks (who are more likely to be killed by people than to kill people), I felt my pulse quickening. It was difficult for me to even look at the screen. One of my savy pysch students pointed out my reaction. “Somethings going on with you more than just sharks being scary.” Sometimes my students are annoyingly observant.
I am terrified of everything ocean. Open waters scare the ever living hell out of me. So
does space for that matter. The movie Gravity was my absolute nightmare and I could not even sit through the trailer.
You see, I know exactly why these two things terrify me. Maybe you can already guess, faithful reader? Here’s a hint, it has to do with the fact that, as previously written about, one of my most common returning nightmares is being in the back of a car with no driver.
Control.
Damn do I love the illusion of control. I know, it is an illusion. There are some choices given to us in life, and some we have no power over. I was born with privilege other people do not have, and there are those with a lot more privilege than me. There a great many things in life we have no control over–like death, our birth, who our families are.
But, I have OCD and I like to pretend. When my father got sick with cancer, I washed my hands so frequently they turned raw. Why? I thought if nothing else, at least I could make sure he did not catch another sickness while trying to heal.
The problem is, the open ocean with its endless depths full of creatures and potentially some we do not even know about yet, robes me of any belief in control. The idea of being out on the water where anything could happen. I feel my heart rate spiking just as I type. Space is the same way, if you float off in space you are gone. They are big, powerful forces of nature that want to kill us. Okay, oceanologists and NASA scientists (do I have any of you reading? Because that would be neat!) I hear you complaining that the ocean and space are not trying to kill me. Alright, I hear you, I just don’t believe you on a cellular level.
I like to pretend control is a thing I have. Also, have you seen the ocean? It’s huge!
PSA: I may be scared of sharks, but they are a valuable part of our world that we, humans, are doing a lot of damage to. Check out the work the Shark Trust is doing to keep our waters full of these amazing, beautiful creatures.
Existential Wednesday 