Read as an Advanced Reader Copy from the American Library Association Conference
Representation includes gay, genderfluid identity, and pansexuality.
Non-Spoiler Review: (see below for longer, spoiler filled review)
Loki: Where Mischief Lies is the perfect blend of humor, mystery, and genuine emotions. Lee explores the ideas of toxic masculinity and identity through the lens of Asgardian family drama. If you are a fan of Loki from the comics or the movies, this novel fits in well with either continuity while bringing new depth to the character.
There are few characters better equipped to explore the ideas of identity and queerness than Loki, and it is exciting to see those sides of him take the forefront. The story also includes Loki solving mysteries in Victorian London and all the unimaginable fun that could come from those exploits. The book is engaging from start to finish and has a truly unpredictable plot. I laughed out loud and genuinely cried. I give this book my full recommendation.
Spoiler Review: Major plot twists will not be spoiled, however, if you want to go in as unspoiled as possible, stop reading here.
I cannot recover from how happy this book made me. I have loved Loki as a character since the first Avengers movie, and since then I have done a number of deep dives into the Marvel mythology and Norse mythology in general. There may be a Loki action figure beside me as I write this. So, the minute I found out that Mackenzi Lee was the person tackling this story, I could not wait for it to be in my hands. To say that I started out with high hopes might be an understatement, and yet it still exceeded my every expectation.
While in the comics and in Norse Mythology, Loki has always been a shapeshifter that switches gender at will, few have ever explored what that means for his self-identity. This book on the other hand, addresses Loki’s queerness explicitly as his identity comes in conflict with his father Odin’s idea of the Ideal Man (a note here, Loki uses masculine pronouns for himself, and thus I will also). Thor is Odin’s paragon of masculinity: tall, muscular, thinks with his fists. Loki prefers scheming to fighting, is slight of frame, and enjoys using magic to change the color of his nails. His favorite item in the story is a pair of high heeled boots. His identity also comes up against the rigid ideas of Victorian London where he meets an ostracized gay man named Theo. In one particularly good scene, Loki declares himself the “Enchantress” leading to confusion when the Londoners explain that this is a feminine name. Loki does not see any conflict there. He remains, not what people think he “should” be.
The theme of identity continues through the ongoing crisis of the book. Is Loki doomed to be the villain? Lee explores the question of whether Loki ever had a choice in the villain he became. If Odin and the whole of Midgard (for the uninitiated: Earth) already treat his turn to evil as a bygone conclusion, what can he do to be the hero? It is a complicated and deeply emotional exploration of the character. He is no simple black-and-white bad guy, and in this novel, the tension in his character is given the room to breathe it deserves. The psychology of identity presented in this story is incredibly well thought out.
The London crew, known as the SHARP society, that Loki goes to Earth to help also deserves all possible praise. Mrs. Sharp is a feminist icon set in contrast with the prudish Victorian society. She brazenly wears pants and solves mysteries despite being a (Victorian gasp) woman! Theo serves as a perfect counterpoint to Loki and acts as his Watson (and perhaps something more, but I leave this piece for you to discover, readers).
If you do not know the Marvel universe, the book sets up the story and characters in such a way that this can easily be an entry point. On the other hand, if you are already shouting Excelsior and dissecting the Easter Eggs in Endgame, the book has a lot of great details for you to enjoy including one that counts as way too big of a spoiler to say here, but everyone who reads Loki can be excited to gasp about when it happens. The story can easily be read as a prequel to the first Thor movie, and sets it up effectively. If you enjoyed the recent comics run of Loki Agent of Asgard, this is definitely going to be right up your alley.
Already clocking in at just over 400 pages, I wished the story was twice as long, yet it felt totally satisfying. I found myself luxuriating in the writing style and characterization. In case I have not already made it abundantly clear, this was one of my favorite reads this year and a book I plan to return to. As my Lord of Lies would say, I am burdened with the glorious purpose of making sure that this September you do not sleep on this title.
We met at Baltimore Comic Con. It was my second year taking my niece. Both her and I have social anxiety, and transforming into our favorite badass women of the superhero world makes us become more outgoing. We walked around the con getting pictures with other cosplayers. She and I gasped out loud when we saw one particular cosplayer come walking across the sky bridge. Decked out in armor, carrying the mighty Mjolnir, there she was: Thor.
Photo: Ghostiee Muffinn as Thor and me, as Mockingbird. Photo credit: @rickcurrrier32 on IG
As long time readers of my blog know, I am endlessly interested in the intersection of mental health and nerd culture, so when I saw a post about this very topic on her instagram, I reached out to Ghostiee Muffinn herself for an interview.
Chris: What do you want [my readers] to know about youfirst off?
Jess: Hi! I’m Jess, however my online cosplay alias is Ghostiee Muffinn Cosplay. I’ve been cosplaying and attending conventions for 4 years now, and hope to continue! I cosplay almost everything; video games, comics, movies, you name it! Outside of cosplay I attend college and serve [wait staff at a restaurant].
Photo: Ghostiee Muffinn as Ezio from Assassins Creed. Photo by: @casey_mcnaughton on IG
Chris: How did you get into cosplaying? What is your cosplay story?
Jess: One year out of the blue I asked my friend if she wanted to attend Katsucon, I think it was 2015! She had planned to go to otakon, but things fell through so it inspired us to give it a shot. We loved it. It was so much fun crafting our first costumes, and it just became something we wanted to continue! Now, I can’t imagine myself without this hobby, I put hours and lots of money into it!
Chris: What does cosplay mean to you?
Photo: Ghostiee Muffinn as Glaceon from Pokemon. Photo by: @papercube on IG
Jess: Cosplay means the world to me! I’ve met my best friends through cosplay, so close that they are like family to me. Cosplay is my creative outlet, I lead a busy lifestyle and it allows me to cool down through art. I hope to keep pushing myself to craft greater and greater projects.
Chris: What is your life as a frequent cosplayer like?
Jess: It can be stressful, in 2018 I have completed 7 new cosplays and attended 5 conventions. The previous year I had only [attended] 2 conventions and completed about 3 cosplays. I would be lying if I said it didn’t sometimes get stressful pushing myself more and more. Yet, I wouldn’t trade it for anything, while it keeps me busy it keeps me determined. I continue to meet amazing people and learn more about my craft. It can be strange finding the balance between the cosplay world, work world, student world, and social world— yet when those worlds collide (especially social and cosplay) I wouldn’t trade it for a thing!
Chris: On your Instagram, you talk about feeling like cosplaying different characters makes you feel strong. Can you talk more about that?
Photo: Ghostiee Muffinn as Thor. Photo by: @griffin_studios and edited by @kosplaykreationz on IG
Jess: Cosplaying different characters absolutely makes me feel strong—empowered. When you look up to or admire a character, there is hardly a better feeling than becoming that character. It’s like becoming the one who you admire, you begin to admire yourself. Additionally, not all projects are easy! Completing a challenging goal is good for the soul, it induces learned self esteem!
Chris: On this blog, we talk about how nerd culture intersects with mental health. What connection do you see between cosplaying and mental health?
Jess: I absolutely can see how cosplay connects to mental health, good and bad. For me, cosplay gives me pride and pleasure when I debut something new I had been crafting for months. I previously mentioned learned self esteem—when one gains confidence through accomplishment— cosplay is my source of learned self esteem! It gives me something to look forward to in dark days. However, it is undeniable that cosplay can be a stressor. Have you heard the term “con crunch”? It refers to that month before a con when cosplayers go blind, seeings stars, trying to finish all their cosplays by the con deadline— usually without sleeping! Cosplay can induce stress, but it can also serve as stress relief to craft after a long day. I would consider it a very healthy hobby!
Chris: What do you wish people understood about cosplaying?
Jess: I feel there are several misconceptions around cosplay. First— it’s not just several adults that never outgrew dress up. We are adults having fun, we are crafting, making friends, staying young, and embracing our unique hobby. Many cosplayers such as myself create cosplays from nothing, so we pride ourselves in our creations! Secondly, there are many types of cosplay. One of the categories, lewd cosplay, I feel gets a bad name. Our motto is cosplay is for everyone, to deny anyone as a cosplayer because they are wearing less is rude and wrong. Similarly, the cosplay world should be a happy world, void of harsh remarks. We are all different skill levels, so we must always embrace all cosplays as “good” rather than “noob” cosplays.
Photo: Ghostiee Muffinn as Jason Vorhees. Photo by: @s1price_lightworks on IG
Chris: Can you tell us about the cosplay community?
Jess: I love the cosplay community, I’ve mentioned that almost all of my close friends come from cosplay—and hold true to that. I’ve met people I consider family. I feel the cosplay community is a supportive and healthy community, nerds helping and supporting eachother! It’s my favorite community to be a part of.
Chris: Is there anything else you want my readers to know about your craft?
Jess: I see cosplay in my future, and I am grateful for everyone who has supported me along the way, I couldn’t do anything without the kindness of others, and I couldn’t imagine myself without the cosplay world.
Photo: Ghostiee Muffinn as Jessica Rabbit from Who Framed Roger Rabbit. Photo by: @notsoprophoto_photography on IG
Thank you to Jess for telling us her story. Check out her work on instagram @GhostieeMuffinnCosplay and on facebook Ghostiee Muffinn Cosplay. You can also contribute to her craft over on Ko-Fi.
Welcome back to the new season of Existential Wednesday. If you enjoyed this interview, worry not, there are more to come. And if you want more walks through existential crises, pop culture, and mental health, come back every Wednesday!
Here is my Existential Wednesday post a day late because in existential philosophy time only has the meaning we give it…or potentially because I accidentally planned poorly and got behind. One or the other.
There are two things that my unexpected academic sabbatical has given me: time to catch up on the shows I missed and time for a proper shame spiral. What do I feel shame over? Sometimes it is over feeling useless, which is really just code in my head for less busy than when I was in grad school. Sometimes it is because I feel I could be doing more for the world that seem daily to be on fire. Sometimes I feel like I could be kinder. Sometimes the shame is about not getting into the Ph.D. program or still living at home. It depends on the moment, but it is always under the surface for me to tap into. And it is shame, not guilt. As shame researcher Brene Brown expresses, guilt is something that serves to motivate action. It is a response to behaviors we do. Shame is a threat to our identity. It is a belief that something is wrong inside ourselves. Shame is deeply personal. Shame is destructive.
The other half of my having more time than normal equation is catching up on the Flash, the superhero show about the scarlet speedster and his many friendship and found family woes (also he fights villains). It is a show I love to sink into like a warm bath, letting it into my pores to fill me up and refresh my soul. I cannot get enough of constant Dad Joe West loving his super sons. I adore the sweet friendship of the STAR labs team. And most of all, I love the warm beating heart of the show, the titular speedster: Flash aka Barry Allen.
Screen Cap of Barry Allen from the Flash
In a world full of toxic masculinity, Barry represents the rare intersection of a character shown to be deeply emotional and yet not portrayed as weak. Not a billionaire playboy by day, instead Barry is the same good person in and out of his mask. As Joe tells him when explaining the difference between Barry and Wally (Joe’s other son), Barry is always able to express what he is feeling. Even when he is keeping secrets (sometimes Earth shattering ones), he cannot actually hide his feelings. Barry and the show writers’ both have a willingness to explore feelings and drive toward emotional maturity. With this in mind, season 3 leans in on a gorgeous arc about a topic that does not get enough attention:
Self-compassion.
At the end of season 2, Barry loses his father and in a moment of grief and bad decision
Screen cap Flash. Time rupture explained and my memories triggered
making (seriously, could anything be worse than having powers when emotionally impaired?) he time travels and launches a whole new timeline. Realizing his mistake, Flash resets things as they were but learns a lesson best explained using a coffee cup. Once the cup is broken, fixing it does not completely erase the cracks. (Side bar, this is exactly how virginity was explained to me in a truly horrifying youth group sex lecture. I am scarred and this episode launched a full flash back. You thought the flower metaphor in Jane the Virgin was an exaggeration? It was my life, but I digress.) Barry returns to the present to find things almost entirely as he left them except for a few major changes. The rest of the season deals with the repercussions of time travel and trying to fix mistakes by erasing them. There could be and likely are thousands of words written on the ideas about time travel this season explores, but for me, the infinitely more interesting dimension was the one happening inside Barry’s head.
As primary self-compassion researcher, Dr. Kristin Neff, explains, “With self-compassion we give ourselves the same kindness and care we’d give to a good friend.” Having self-compassion means being able to step out of the noise inside your head and see yourself with love and acceptance. It is a skill that can be increased with practice and there are brilliant meditations structured around seeking it out. An essential part of the Flash’s character is his taking too much personal responsibility and feeling shame over everything that occurs in this and any other world (thanks to the multiverse). So, I was duly surprised when the season took a turn. Instead of wallowing in Barry’s shame, the show lets him interact with the mentors and motivators in his life and have some of the most beautiful discussions of self-compassion I have ever seen. The narrative weaves itself directly around the elements of self-compassion throughout the season.
Element of Self-compassion 1) Harry Wells and Common Humanity
Screen cap Flash. Harry and Barry.
Harry Wells serves as a mostly reluctant mentor to young Barry Allen. In season 3, they relate in their feelings of shame, with Wells saying “I know what that feels like…I make mistakes and I want to make up for my mistakes, then I just make more mistakes.” He then adds, “you did once tell me that you have to trust in the long run that the decisions you make are the right ones.” Finally, he comes to the true heart of the moment, “I was always too good at forgiving myself, Allen, and you were never good enough.” Harry Wells struggled with taking responsibility, Barry struggles with taking too much. The moment not only reflects the need for self-compassion, but points to a core element of it. We can become self-compassionate when we learn to see our common humanity, aka when we recognize that others fail too. By sharing in Barry’s pain, Harry opens up a path for the Flash to recognize he is not the only one to fall short.
Element of Self-compassion 2) Oliver Queen and Self-kindness
Screen Cap Flash. Barry and Ollie having a heart to heart
The Flash’s shame reaches a point of near no return in the massive show crossover episodes when Flash collides with Supergirl, Arrow, and Legends of Tomorrow to tackle an actual alien invasion. When the majority of the super powered (or super skilled vigilante) cohort find out about Barry’s time meddling, they are furious, but Oliver sticks with his fleet-footed friend. In true teach what you cannot do fashion, Ollie has a heart-to-heart with Barry about showing himself kindness.
Oliver: You need to stop beating yourself up over this.
Barry: I’m sorry, but how can you say that? I’m responsible for all of this.
Oliver: Maybe. Maybe not. Barry, you made a choice. You wanted to see your parents alive again. Do you honestly know anyone that if they were in your shoes wouldn’t do the exact same thing? I would do the exact same thing.
He goes on to explain about the traumas he experienced in life and how he would change them if he could, then he says the key point.
Oliver: Barry, the world isn’t different because you changed the timeline. Change happens. Tragedy happens. People make choices and those choices affect everyone else. You’re not a god, Barry.
The lesson does not immediately sink in because when it turns out the aliens are there to capture Barry, he reverts back to his shame spiral. Barry decides to offer himself as a sacrifice to the aliens, but Ollie and the other super friends step in to let him know he is loved. Barry is forced to accept their kindness and forgiveness. With self-kindness we learn to see that we are not gods. We are imperfect and we do not know how our actions will affect the world. With self-kindness, we begin to recognize our limits in the same way we do not expect our friends to be perfect.
Element of Self-compassion 3) The Speed Force and Mindful Acceptance
Screen Cap Flash. Barry and Jay inside the Speedforce
Self-compassion also means being able to sit with our feelings. It means that we, and Barry, cannot run away from the unpleasant emotions we experience. It does not mean we wallow, but we do let ourselves feel. For Barry, this comes in the form of the speedforce the difficult to explain science-magic dimension speedsters can access. For Barry it is a place of re-experiencing memories. In season 3, he goes in and talks to three people from his past that spark his feelings of shame. Barry is forced to face the emotions, and the personification of the speedforce does not let up. It reminds him continuously that his emotions, not his logic, are fueling his choices, but that he is refusing to acknowledge it. Until he recognizes what he is really feeling, which of course is once again a desire to sacrifice himself, he cannot be free of the force of his memories.
Together, between Harry relating to Barry, Oliver sharing his own recognition that it is okay to be imperfect, and the actual spirit of the speedforce making him think about his emotions, Barry has all the elements of self-compassion laid before him. Does he learn from it? Of course not. Barry would probably offer to sacrifice himself to help someone get over a cold if he could, but as viewers, we can learn the lessons he does not.
So, we learn to talk to ourselves with kindness. We learn to recognize that others fail too. We learn to stop running from our emotions like a speedster into danger.
Screen cap Flash. A signature Joe West hug
Maybe, when that gets too hard, we can imagine talking to ourselves like Joe West would talk to his adopted son, Barry. What would ultimate father figure Joe do in those moments of failure and self-doubt? Well, he would put his arm around us and let us know we are loved, no matter what. He would remind us that not everything is our fault. He would cry with us, feel with us, and on the other side remind us to get up. He would give us a safe place to be human. May we all treat ourselves like Joe West treats his kids.
Want more deep dives into pop cultural and existential psychology? Tune in every Wednesday for another walk on the overthinking side.
Recommends:
Want to learn more about the fascinating work of Brene Brown on shame, vulnerability, and living a wholehearted life? Check out her website here.
Interested in learning about self-compassion, including how to do self-kindness meditations? Check out the work of Kristin Neff.
Existential Wednesday 